Dear Zen,
I've told you before that I believe the most powerful form of love is learning. And I say this because love is something that I'm learning from you every single day. When I say you have textbook love, it's because I envy just how unconditional you're able to love. In parallel to you, I take things personally, I make unwarranted sacrifices, and I'm a person created from resentment. But there has been no better encouragement to learn than to experience the ways that you love me. You love me despite my continuous mishaps, you're the first partner that I feel in full confidence would love me even if I lost everything that I had, you would protect me from self-sacrifice, you cook for me because you know how much I love cooking, you let me borrow your clothes, you give me a towel when I stay, you clean up my stuff when I make a mess, you skip class and time with your friends for me, you make me videos, you remember so much about our times spent together, you make it known that your love isn't something that needs to be earned, you order me breakfast when I need to eat, you give me things that remind you of me, you write beautiful letters, you do my dishes, you give me hugs, you give me kisses, you put up with my stupid feelings, you pay for my food, you go out of your way to see me, you get as much stuff done before I come to you so you can give me your full attention, you have silly conversations with me, you watch movies with me, you put yourself first so that you can put me second, simply, you have completely changed the standard in which I understand love. I feel loved Zen.
And so here I am, learning new ways to love you again.
Remember how I didn't really understand or particularly like the Fleabag ending? It was because I don't think my love for you could ever pass and there isn't a thought in this world right now that scares me more than that. Learning to grow from love has only been possible because of you.
Love,
Riley